Destiny’s Story: Suicide, Sex, & Salvation
So it started out when my dad committed suicide when i was 3 years old. I don’t really remember him at all. The only memory i have is when him & my mom were in a physical fight & I was chanting both of them on. i was so young.. I didn’t understand.. He was an alcoholic & was on drugs. He was also 14 years older than my mom & she had me when she was 17. After his death, his family took everything. Me, my mom, my brother, & my soon to be born sister were homeless & had nowhere to go. My mom depended on her mom so we were always left with her. Then my mom started depending on her friends and other men then it just seemed like me & my siblings didn’t seem to matter anymore. It was hard to look after myself at such a young age without a father figure. So I was always being abused by my mom’s best friends brother. Then soon, by my older cousin. This went on for years. Then finally when it stopped, my mom got with this man who she stayed with for 7 years. He was physically & mentally abusive. Then when I was 11, he molested me. And my mom still stayed with him. For the longest time, the devil told me that i wanted guys touching me like that even though i was a child. From a young age till just two years ago, I attempted suicide, I cut myself till it scarred. Ive always wanted to die. Maybe the world would’ve been happier with me gone… Then finally my mom left her boyfriend of 7 years for a woman. Her new girl friend was also physically abusive, & most definitely mentally as well. I lived with my grandma 7th grade then the summer of me going into 8th grade my mom made us move to North Carolina with her. I was in church all my life but i was just starting to get involved in different youth groups, then we had to move. In North Carolina I never thought about church or God. I hung all over guys & I stayed depressed & started cutting again because of the abuse. One night I attempted to cut my wrist in front of my mom because i wanted her to see my pain but she just pinned me against the wall by my throat & called the cops. They tried to send me to a mental hospital but my mom just made me go to a regular hospital for them to give me some kind of shot in my vein. After that, I had enough. I moved back to Alabama to live with my grandparents again. I got back in church when I got home, & from then on, I was involved with God at First Assembly’s youth group, then when i wasnt at church i still hated the world. Then I went to my first Mobile Invasion summer going into 9th grade. It changed my whole world… for a little while.. Then I entered my Freshman Year at Baldwin County high school. I was immature & hard-headed. I fell back from God even though I was still so involved in my youth group. I thought I was so cool & so big & bad first entering high school always getting in trouble. I met this guy I started having a little crush. I knew him for 4 days. Then he talked me into doing things I knew I shouldn’t. A sad day lodged in my head. Then after that I felt like I needed sex. I prayed for the feeling to go away even though I really wasn’t following God. Then I just went from one guy to another. I had pregnancy scares & I was just 15. Hanging out with these bad guys caused me to get into bad things like smoking pot & getting drunk. I felt so sick & upset with myself for the things I was hurting God with & myself as well. But When I went to church, it felt like it always has. The worship was the same, the direct message was the same, & just the feeling of being in church felt the same. So i slowly started to break myself down & see everything that needed to be changed. I ended up my leaving my church to find a new one. It wasn’t the church, First Assembly is a great church & Steven Metcalf is one of the best youth pastors I ever had but it was myself that made me leave. I felt like I needed a new, fresh start. So I ended up at Grace Fellowship sometime in the beginning of January, & since then I have been so faithful to God. So i mess up here & there a couple of times but God forgives & I love him enough to stay away from what pulls me away from him. Most of the things in my life just happened last year & I know it doesn’t seem that long ago but im still a growing christian & im so in love with God. It’s not about what all I’ve done in my life but it’s about what God has lifted me up from & the child of God He has made me to be today. My name is Destiny & I’m from a town in south Alabama. October 9, I turned 16, another year God has given me to grow in His glory. I hope my life has touched some of you guys out there that are going through the same things I did.
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About Steve Austin
That strong will and determined attitude has allowed God to lift you out of the slime you were in. Don’t forget those roots, however, they have made you the ambitious young woman you are now. Wishing you a lifetime of his grace, and the wonderful ability you have within yourself to move on. You are SO young, and you are going to have a wonderfully amazing life ahead with your morals and standards. I truly applaud you, because I was just like you.